Life tips derived from monetary tips

How big is a 10 inch pizza? What region was the salmon raised in? We are going to split the bill seven ways.

(Deep breath) About this big, let me go ask the chef, no problem! All with a smile on my face even though that has to be the most ridiculous things a person could ask me right now as I am being double sat, one table needs refills, one table asked for ranch five minutes ago and another table’s food is popping up in the window.

Those in the service industry can relate to the high-stress and adrenaline inducing environment of a kitchen and restaurant. They can also relate to customer connections and how the people you serve can actually be the worst ever or surprisingly the hero of my night.

I have worked at my job as a waitress for about 2 years and it has made me analyze the way I act toward others (because it's my job) and how the human race communicates as a whole.

I genuinely believe if I never became a waitress, I would have never made the realizations I have made thus far about people, until later in my life. Waitressing made me more socially aware, maybe a little too socially aware.

But it has also strengthened my conversation skills in a time when the younger generation struggles with awkward silence and relies on the easy escape of going on their phone.

Here are a few things I am ultimately grateful for that I have learned as a waitress.

Myself:

As someone who struggles with eye contact in general, eye contact while speaking to people dining in is necessary to making them feel comfortable. Multiple times I have caught myself looking at the table cloth while speaking and thought “omg why am I so awkward or insecure? Like look them in the eyes Sarah!”.

But then I made it a point before walking up to my next table to look into their eyes while speaking. It established a more confident approach to my service and noticed a translation in my day to day. I noticed myself holding eye contact longer while speaking even if it's just to my friends. As well as a sense of poise to my conversations.

Being quick on your feet when it comes to jokes or comebacks gets a laugh out of your table and hopefully gets you a bigger tip. #JK. No but seriously, I utilize customers' jokes as a brain teaser or material for my own jokes later and use their presence as my opportunity to practice my bits. 

This is a tricky one and you really need to feel a table out before attempting because some people don’t care, can’t hear or genuinely don't understand (which ends in you walking away with embarrassment, telling yourself to never open your mouth again.)

Yet, accepting embarrassment is probably the biggest take aways I learned from being a waitress. Sometimes, yes, I forgot to put mushrooms in your dish like you asked but it's ok because I’ll get you some on the side. And your food may be taking a little longer not because the kitchen is backed up like I told you but truthfully I forgot to put your order in.

Now mistakes like these do not happen often but when they do and customers express their concern, I have learned to not let my face get red and feel bad the rest of the shift for ‘ruining their experience’. Instead, the cooler you act toward the situation the calmer they will respond depending on the mistake.

Even though they are strangers, or regulars, it can be really embarrassing to serve them for the rest of their meal after a mistake. But after many mistakes (because i’m human) I have learned to be nonchalant when complaints are made (especially when they are my fault). 

These situations have ingrained a sense of proactiveness to counteract my reactiveness that maturity is making me realize I have now. Serving is a humiliation ritual I have learned to accept.

Some people are just rude and inconsiderate to those who are SERVING them. When I asked how you are doing, I did not know “iced tea” was a human feeling but thank you, I am doing great as well. 

After a bad first impression, it can be hard for me to go above and beyond for someone who has zero human decency. So from the unwarranted rudeness via customers, I have learned to let a lot roll off my shoulder and not take it so personally. This concept has strengthened my recent #DGAF movement of not letting others’ bad days affect yours! Killing them with kindness really does work.

Others:

Talking to people who are shy or introverted can be difficult especially when I am someone who could talk for hours (clearly). While I was studying at university for journalism, I was taught while interviewing to be empathetic to situations that may be hard to talk about to reframe questions in a more comfortable way.

A skill I already had, now strengthened through another form of work. I love helping people with their public speaking skills and being a waitress, I do just that. Asking them more of the questions so they have to explain themselves less can ease the anxiety of social interaction for some. Patience is sometimes all people need.

Yet, there is always the other end of the spectrum where people have this crazy sense of entitlement, in a place I have never seen them dine at before (and I am here every day…)

Oh you know the owner? So do I. The wait time is still going to be about 20 minutes. Entitlement goes hand in hand with being out of touch. Customers will say the most out of pocket thing and I am supposed to keep a straight face.

Those out of pocket things generally come from older generations, however it made me realize how out of touch people can be their whole lives. I thought at some point of one’s life, they would catch on to others' perspectives to change theirs but I guess I am wrong. It reminds me people never do change and go through their whole lives acting a certain way. It blows my mind, that's all I have to say.

Lastly, something I have learned as a waitress may help me out in the future when I want to become a mom is parenting styles. During this so-called “iPad kid” era, parents miss out on teaching their children basic social interactions like ordering food at a restaurant by sticking a tablet in their face while dining out. 

However, there is hope because I have seen children who are five years old order perfectly fine with fantastic manners and continue to behave their entire meal. But on the other hand, I have seen 10 year olds with headphones on that have their parents order after they whisper what they want. And that same iPad (that they won't move) gets in the way when I am trying to put their scorching, hot plate down.

Beyond ordering food, the way they interact throughout their whole experience is something I observe. Sometimes the parents are on their phones as much as the kids and that can make me a little sad. 

But going back to letting things roll off my shoulder, I have to do that with family dynamics sometimes. It can make me a little emotional but my goal is to spark some conversation that includes the whole family in hopes of some interaction between them.

The lesson I learned is you never know what someone’s family dynamic is like, so healing family bonds can start with a stranger that gets you refills of Diet Coke.

Nevertheless, people can be so awful and make you want to go into the walk-in fridge and scream, but there are always those angels sent from heaven above who leave you a 30 percent tip after watching you run around for people.

At the end of the day, just be nice to people! And tip your servers hehe.

XOXO,

S☮︎